


crows fly away

by sasuwuke_uchiha



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abandonment, Brother/Brother Incest, Implied Sexual Content, Itachi's just tryna Live, Obsessive Behavior, Sasuke's a Psycho, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasuwuke_uchiha/pseuds/sasuwuke_uchiha
Summary: sasuke's obsessed with itachi, itachi's trying to endure it. one day, he snaps and the results are not pretty.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/One-Sided Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	crows fly away

Sasuke Uchiha is not in his right mind.

It’s not like his brother, Itachi, would ever predict that this would happen.

Itachi had hoped that his younger brother would hate him. He killed the clan when the other was only eight years old. He choked him out when he was thirteen, he had made Sasuke suffer through a tsukuyomi reliving all the darkest parts of his childhood. He thought it was enough. It _had_ to be enough. 

Itachi had no idea that all his intentions to get his brother to hate him would turn out horribly wrong.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Occasionally, Itachi would take a break from the Akatsuki to come home and see what his younger brother was up to. The first time he did that, Sasuke wasn’t happy. He tried to fight him, threatened to tell the village higher-ups, and it took a lot of convincing to get Sasuke to agree to monthly visits from his older, assassin of a brother.

Sasuke agreed to it because, well, having Itachi around was sweet. He would make him breakfast in bed, ask him how his training was going, he’d listen to him talk about his friends, especially the boy named Naruto Uzumaki who gives Sasuke a headache; but he still considers him his best friend. Sometimes, Itachi would even teach Sasuke new jutsus. It was almost like life before his clan was murdered. It felt strangely perfect.

Eventually, Sasuke began to yearn for every day of the month that his brother returned home.

Everything was normal until Sasuke turned sixteen. 

Itachi hoped it was a phase, he had hoped that Sasuke wanting to sleep beside him every night was something he’d grow out of. Begging to be kissed goodnight, Itachi had hoped that was something Sasuke would get over as well. At first, it was innocent. He’d point to his forehead, his cheek, and Itachi would grant his baby brother the goodnight kisses he needed to finally get some rest. When he turned sixteen, however, Sasuke started wanting _actual_ kisses. He’d point to his lips, flutter his lashes, and tell Itachi that he needed to be kissed to have sweet dreams. 

It was a little uncomfortable, but how could Itachi say “no” to the brother he did such horrible things to? It was the least he could do.

As months went by, each new day Itachi visited; he realized his brother was acting . . . weird.

Sasuke had asked to shower with Itachi, a request he promptly denied. He told Sasuke that it would be weird because he was much older than him. Twenty-one, to be exact. He didn’t seem too happy about the rejection. Later that night when it was Itachi’s turn to shower, Sasuke had whined that he wanted to wait in the bathroom with him. Again, an uncomfortable situation, but who was Itachi to deny him? 

The entire time while he was in there, Sasuke didn’t say a word. Itachi tried to spark some conversation, but all he got out of his younger brother were hums that sounded like he wasn’t paying attention. Itachi couldn’t see clearly through the fogged up shower curtain, but Sasuke seemed to be staring in his direction. It looked like he also had one hand down his shorts; or maybe, just maybe, Itachi was just being paranoid.

**Yet, things got worse.**

Itachi had gotten comfortable enough to start leaving items at Sasuke’s place each month. He left his hairbrush there once, on Sasuke’s bathroom counter. The next month, he had found it underneath Sasuke’s pillow . . . and the handle looked abused, worn out. Itachi didn’t want to confront Sasuke about it, he didn’t want to know what had _happened_ to it, so he put it back and pretended he never saw it.

Situations like these were the reason that Itachi had started to suspect that something was wrong with his younger brother. What could possibly be going on in his sixteen year old mind? Was it puberty? Was it the rising levels of testerone going on in Sasuke’s body that was making him act out like this? It _had_ to be a phase. There was no other explanation . . . then it happened.

The love letter.

At first, Itachi thought it was a joke. Sasuke had waited for his brother’s arrival and when he handed him this folded up piece of paper with Itachi’s name written so neatly on the front, surrounded in hearts, he couldn’t help but chuckle. It seemed innocent; like something you’d give to your father or mother on Valentine’s Day.

“For me?” He smiled, studying the craftsmanship of the outside of this paper, an eyebrow quirked in amusement as Sasuke nodded quickly, staring up at his brother with the same amount of eagerness he had when he was younger. 

“Open it. I spent all last night making it.”

  
It seemed so innocent. Itachi couldn’t help it, he sat down at the kitchen table and began unfolding it as Sasuke took the seat in front of him. It _had_ seemed so innocent.

Itachi wished he never opened that letter that day.

When he opened it, his eyes skimmed the words and as he read, Sasuke leaned in with anticipation. Clearly, he wanted a response. He wanted a reaction and as Itachi read on, the older Uchiha didn’t know if he could grant him that.

_Dear Itachi,_

_My dear older brother, ever since you’ve begun to visit me every month, I’ve felt differently about you. There’s something about you that makes me want to have you around forever. You’re charming; I’m not surprised. You take after mother more than you do father. Please, dear brother, I know you can’t stay for much longer than a day, but I want you to know that I think I’m starting to fall in love with you._

Itachi’s eyes widened. He read that sentence over and over, hoping it was a mistake. Yet there it is, in Sasuke’s neat and small handwriting, and no amount of rubbing his eyes is making those words go away. Itachi palms start to feel sweaty. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

_I’m falling in love with you because you’re so sweet to me. Not to mention that you’re completely handsome, big brother. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the way you look when you sleep, but you look like you’re in complete bliss. Your hair is perfect, don’t get me started on your smile, and most of all, nii-san, your voice sends chills down my spine._

Itachi feels like he wants to throw up. He feels _disgusted_ ; like he’s to blame for doing this to Sasuke. He doesn’t even want to keep reading, his hand tightens on the paper, causing it to crinkle but Itachi can’t seem to stop his eyes from moving across those lines.

_I don’t know how to contain myself around you, aniki. I know this is wrong, I know it’s not supposed to be this way, but maybe . . . It could be our little secret._

_I’m in love with you, Itachi, and I want you to love me too._

_Yours,_

_Sasuke Uchiha_

Itachi’s heart is pounding by the time he finishes reading. This kind of stress isn’t good for his disease; the one he’s yet to tell his baby brother about. He slowly glances up from the letter to meet Sasuke’s eyes, still filled with that excitement from earlier, but now- instead of warming Itachi’s heart- it fills him with a sense of dread. The same dread he felt the day Itachi killed their parents and he saw his little eight year old brother walk through those doors to see such a scene. He slowly refolds the letter, his head is spinning, trying to find the right words to tell Sasuke that this isn’t _good_. 

“Well, Itachi?” He’s grinning now, and Itachi studies Sasuke’s face, trying to keep his expression emotionless. “What do you think?”

“Sasuke,” Itachi’s voice comes out stern, his eyes don’t leave his, “We’re brothers. This is wrong. We can’t be anything more, you should know that.”

His mood deflates, the excitement that was once in his eyes starts to die out, but Sasuke’s eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head, “No, Itachi, it’s not wrong!” He gets out of his chair, starting to round the table, “You said when you first came to visit me that you loved me and that you wanted to be around to see me grow up!”

“I meant that I loved you like a brother, Sasuke-”

“Big brother!” Sasuke’s at his side now, staring at the older male with a lovestruck expression that’s making Itachi’s insides twist in disgust, “Me loving you isn’t a bad thing.” His hand comes up to cup his cheek and Itachi pushes it away, angered now.

“Sasuke Uchiha,” He says, louder now, “This is wrong.” The younger male takes a step back, which gives Itachi a feeling of relief as he stands up out of the chair, pushing the letter back into his younger brother’s hands. “I cannot reciprocate your feelings and I never will, are we clear?”

There’s a moment of silence, just these two staring into each other's eyes. Sasuke’s bottom lip is trembling, he looks like he’s on the brink of tears, and for a brief moment; Itachi considers apologizing. Sasuke looks so helpless, so lost, so _confused_. 

Then the next moment, it’s gone.

Sasuke’s perplexed expression turns into a smile, shaking his head and giggling to himself. Itachi’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. What’s he so giddy about? Did he not just hear the words that left his mouth? Was he mocking him? Did Sasuke know something Itachi didn’t? Did he have something planned? So many questions; but before Itachi can speak up and demand an answer, Sasuke turns on his heel and heads for his bedroom. 

“Whatever you say, aniki. Whatever you say.”

It sounds like a threat, almost. Itachi decides it’s best if he gives his younger brother some space; but the way those words left his mouth. It almost sounded like Sasuke was accepting a challenge.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Every month after that, Itachi struggled to bring himself to Konohagakure to visit Sasuke. Every morning of that fateful day, Itachi found himself hesitating to get out of bed. Each step toward the village had his mind wandering; if this was a good idea, if today would be any different, only to be deeply disappointed by the time he actually arrived.

As soon as he stepped into Sasuke’s place, the younger Uchiha was already there, waiting for the other to bless him with his presence. Itachi tries to act cold, changing his usual sweet demeanor into the same way he acted when Sasuke was thirteen. He ignores him, ignores every advance his little brother tries to send his way. More love notes, constant confessions, repetitive attempts to sneak into Itachi’s bed when he’s trying to sleep. He has to wake up and bring him back to his room. There was a particular time when Itachi was shampoo-ing, and he was sure he had locked the bathroom door. He could hear the lock jingling; like someone was trying to pick it. He tried to ignore it; but by the time he opened his eyes, Sasuke was attempting to get into the shower with him. That had been the last straw, and by the time Sasuke turned seventeen, Itachi was exhausted from this same routine.

Itachi decided to take Sasuke out into the village for his birthday present. In his mind, he figured that being in public would suppress Sasuke’s obsessive behavior and relentless acts of affection. Trying to touch his hair, his chest, and his crotch while they were trying to have “brotherly bonding” time was annoying to the older male. Pushing his younger brother’s hands away was turning into a chore, so what better way to spend this visit than by being out and about in a public setting?

~~Maybe that way, Sasuke would finally leave Itachi alone .~~

Itachi takes Sasuke to that cafe he went to when he first returned to Konoha with Kisame. The one Kakashi stood outside of, purposely calling Sasuke there just to strike a nerve with the older Uchiha. Of course, being the shinobi he was, he couldn’t just go around Konoha without a disguise, so he sticks to the same straw hat that he used when he arrived. He keeps his gaze on his feet so it covers most of his face, all while Sasuke holds his hand and walks beside him on this crowded street.

  
Some villagers look their way, trying to figure out who the stranger under the hat is. Sasuke was already mysterious enough in public; so to have him walking about, holding someone’s hand was rather strange. Itachi tried his best to ignore the piercing looks, but Sasuke didn’t even seem to notice. He’s just relieved that the other isn’t trying to feel him up. Itachi leads Sasuke to a table, preferably in the middle of this establishment, hoping it’ll deter his intentions of trying to sneak some kind of inappropriate touch.

It works, for the most part. They’re able to eat their food and converse normally, avoiding topics that might give away who Itachi was. He orders dangos while Sasuke orders his rice balls, and for once, Itachi feels like everything is normal. Sasuke’s not trying to touch him, he’s not trying to confess his undying feelings for the man who murdered his clan. For his older brother. He’s just being a normal, seventeen year old, and Itachi feels a small smile forming on his lips. 

It’s the first time he’s done that since he received that love letter.

Leaving the cafe, Itachi almost feels like they can get home without any incidents. No one figured out who he was, Sasuke’s not trying to do anything weird, the day is going exactly as Itachi had planned it out in his head. Nothing could possibly go wrong as they headed back toward Sasuke’s home; _or so Itachi thought._

They were a few streets away from main street when Itachi felt Sasuke’s lips upon his own.

At first, he was in shock. He didn’t reciprocate, but that didn’t stop Sasuke from doing it. He didn’t pull away; he _wasn’t_ going to pull away, so Itachi took it upon his own hands- once he came to his senses- to shove his little brother back harshly. His heart was pounding, he looked left and right. Did anyone see that?

“Relax,” Sasuke says, sounding nonchalant and at ease, like he didn’t just do something terribly and morally wrong, “No one is around.”

“Sasuke.” Itachi’s voice fades away, trying to find something to say, where to start. He feels repulsed, bringing his hand up to wipe his own mouth while his eyes study the younger male in front of him. He looks so pleased with himself, running his fingers over his lips after doing what he did. It’s like Sasuke’s trying to savor the feeling of his lips touching Itachi’s, and it’s taking everything in the older Uchiha not to empty the contents of his stomach on the street beside him.

“What’s the matter? You don’t look okay-”

“I’m not okay, Sasuke!” Itachi shouts at him, and that stuns Sasuke into a small silence. He wants to ask what’s wrong, what he did, but before he can, Itachi’s grabbing his wrist and hopping up toward the nearest roof, dragging Sasuke behind him as he heads for the village gates. He goes from rooftop to rooftop, building to building, getting a plan ready in his head. He doesn’t answer any of Sasuke’s questions. There’s an irk mark forming on Itachi’s temple the more his younger brother speaks and Sasuke’s not taking the hint, but eventually he does fall quiet, waiting to arrive at whatever destination his older brother has in mind. The closer they got, the tighter Itachi’s grip got on Sasuke’s wrist. Surely, it had formed a bruise by now. 

~~In Sasuke’s sick mind, it would probably look pretty .~~

Itachi doesn’t stop until they’re outside the village gates in some patch of forest. At this point, Itachi wouldn’t mind getting caught, but he knows he won't. Something in him is seething, he’s tolerated as much as he could, so when he turns to face his baby brother, nothing stops his hand from slapping that pale cheek of his so harshly that the sound echoes off the trees around them.

Sasuke’s taken by surprise; his head turns with the blow and his hand instinctively comes up to hold his cheek. His fingertips caress the stinging skin, he fights back tears and he looks toward his older brother; who has a look of hatred in his eyes, he gets flashbacks to when he was thirteen. “W-what’s wrong?”

“I never thought you’d become such a disappointment to the clan, Sasuke.”

The words pierce Sasuke’s heart, they’re so out of the blue. He’s still fighting back the urge to cry, but he glares at Itachi now, dropping his hands to his sides. “What are you on about, Itachi?”

“What you did back there, Sasuke, it was disgusting and wrong!” Itachi takes a step toward him and Sasuke has no time to block the fist that’s already flying toward his cheek. He should probably activate his sharingan, the rinnegan, activate any jutsu that would help him in this situation, but something deep inside of him isn’t allowing him to fight back against the boy he adores so much. Sasuke takes the punch, stumbling back onto the ground and groaning in discomfort as he once again, rubs at the spot on his skin that he felt Itachi’s knuckles dig into. Sasuke swallows, and the copper, metallic taste of blood is lingering in his mouth. He still doesn’t fight back, though, even when Itachi drops on top of him, one knee on each side of Sasuke’s stomach, pinning him down against the dirt so he can’t escape. 

Why would he want to escape? Itachi looks like an angel, sitting on him like this. Sasuke feels butterflies erupt in his stomach, despite the fuzzy feeling in his head from being decked in the face.

  
Itachi continues this onslaught of punches, clearly something inside of him has snapped. Each time his fists make contact with Sasuke’s cheeks, he hits harder and harder. He’s not fighting back, he’s not _defending_ himself and it’s pissing Itachi off. Sasuke’s younger self would be attempting to fight back, doing anything he can to teach Itachi a lesson; and now because of some stupid, unhealthy crush, Sasuke’s sitting here and taking this beating with no intentions of stopping it.

_And it’s all Itachi’s fault._

“I wish I had killed you with the rest of our clan!” He shouts, clearly mad, tears of anger filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks as he takes note of the bruises forming on Sasuke’s skin. His lip is swelling, his nose is bleeding, there’s blood spilling out of the corner of his lips, but Itachi keeps hitting him, spitting out curses and swears. “Father is surely rolling in his grave, knowing his son turned out to fall in love with his own damn brother! You’re a freak, Sasuke! A freak!”

Sasuke still isn’t moving to defend himself; his face feels like it’s on fire. His vision is getting hazy, his cheeks feel numb, and the overwhelming taste of blood in his mouth makes him want to throw up all the food he had eaten earlier that day. His brother’s words hurt, they’re making his heart ache and he wants to tell Itachi that he’s sorry. How could he bring himself to apologize for being in love? It’s not like he could control it, and if he could, Sasuke didn’t want to. He _liked_ being in love with his older brother. He didn’t want anybody, not even Itachi, to stop these feelings that he was having.

One last punch to Sasuke’s face knocks him out cold and Itachi, panting heavily from the exertion and all the swearing, stands up hesitantly, his mind racing with what he should do next. He should probably leave; never come back, but if he did that, who would take care of his dear younger brother? His thoughts were so conflicting; and while Sasuke laid there, bloody and bruised, Itachi turned and hopped back over the village gates, heading for Sasuke’s home to sleep and get a clear train of thought before heading out. He feels no regret for what he just did to the other, or maybe he does, but there’s nothing he could do to reverse what just happened.

* * *

Sasuke’s eyes open when he hears crickets; and they open to see stars through the leaves of the trees around him. His face is aching, his jaw feels sore, he can’t taste blood in his mouth anymore, but he can feel the dried up vital fluid on his skin. Shakily, he raises his hand to scratch it off, groaning in pain as he sits up. His head is pulsating, his other hand comes up to grip at his hair, trying to steady himself before he tries to get onto his feet. He’s remembering what happened before he was knocked out; and then one thought pops into his mind. 

**Itachi.**

Where had he gone? Sasuke looks around, ignoring his own injuries and getting to his feet. Slowly but surely, he realizes he’s alone. Not immediately assuming the worst, he decides it’s best to get back home, maybe Itachi’s there, in bed, waiting for him to arrive.

It’s like Sasuke’s mind blocked out the events that transpired before he woke up from his unconsciousness. All the words Itachi had said to him, the fact that the reason he was in the middle of the forest outside the gates of Konoha was because his brother left him there. Forgetting all of that, he heads to his home, pondering what to do if he gets there and his brother is in bed. 

He’s denied every single one of his advances. Sasuke has tried to be as loving as he can with the older Uchiha, he’s spent days while Itachi was away, writing love letters, arranging plans for what they can do together, he even goes to the library to read books on relationships so he can know what to do when Itachi finally agreed to be his. Naruto would tease him for doing such a thing; but in the end, Sasuke knew it would pay off. He never expected Itachi to be so against him. Against love. He didn’t know what else to do.

The closer he got to his house, the more Sasuke felt desperate. What could he possibly do to have Itachi reciprocate his feelings? Maybe he could try talking to him, spilling his feelings again. Itachi is the reason for Sasuke’s entire existence, it seems, if he can’t understand that, what else is Sasuke to do?

The only thing in life that Itachi seems to care deeply about is him.

Stepping into his home and shutting the door behind him, Sasuke could already sense Itachi’s chakra in his bedroom. His heart began to beat faster, clearly excited to see him. Glad that he didn’t leave, that he didn’t just abandon him after leaving him in the forest like that. He walks to the kitchen, being as quiet as possible, retrieving a knife. He studies the blade of it, figures it’s sharp enough for what he has planned, and he walks toward the room Itachi’s sleeping in. 

It sounds crazy; but if Sasuke were to _threaten_ Itachi, would that make him fall in love with him? It couldn’t hurt to try, so that’s what he’s doing tonight.

Who knows what time it is when Itachi is awakened by Sasuke shoving his hand into his shoulder, shaking his body and encouraging him to sit up. He tells him that he has something to say, that it’s important, and by the time his eyes fall on his younger brother, he realizes what he’s up to.

The blade of the knife is on his neck, digging into his skin _just_ enough to cut if Sasuke’s hand were to slice in one direction. There’s a strangely relaxed look in his eyes for someone who seems to be set on killing themselves; and as Itachi sits up, Sasuke steps back, being careful to be out of reach. Itachi’s still a skilled shinobi, it wouldn’t be hard for him to disarm the younger Uchiha. “Hello, aniki.”

“Sasuke, what are you doing-”

“I want you to love me,” The words leave Sasuke’s mouth quickly, in a tone that’s rather demanding, “I tried to do everything normally but it’s not working. I want you to love me or I’m going to kill myself.”

Itachi’s heart sinks at that. He can’t help but blame himself, seeing his brother reach this desperate state of mind. This is his fault. _All of this is his fault._ “Sasuke-”

“Itachi, _please-_ ” He starts, his hand starts to shake but he keeps that knife firmly pressed to his neck, glaring into his older brother’s eyes with intention. “Give me a chance, just- let me love you. This could be our little secret, big brother, I won’t tell anyone! You haven’t even seen what I can do in bed, yet-” 

“Sasuke!” Itachi throws his legs over the side of the bed, which makes the other step back further. He’s coming up with a plan in his mind again, his younger brother needs serious _help_ . A reality check, and Itachi’s patience is gone. This has gotten ridiculous. He really thinks threatening him with suicide is going to make him reciprocate those damn feelings he wants so bad; and Itachi is **not** having it. He’s got a plan, and it’s not going to be pretty. “Sasuke,” He says again, his voice much calmer this time. He gives the other a soft look, a small smile and he stands up, motioning him to come closer. 

With the right words and the right actions, Itachi knows he can get Sasuke to do anything he wants. With his obsessive behavior, with Sasuke’s desperate need to please his older brother, Itachi knew if he played these next scenes out just right, his plan would fall into place and he’d finally be free. He’s had enough, he’s done, and Itachi wanted things to return to the way they were. He’s never going to come back and visit Sasuke again and hopefully, his disease would kill him before Sasuke came to his senses to come and look for him. Itachi wouldn’t have to deal with him; and it sounds terrible, but he knows that this would be for the best. Sasuke needs a normal life, Itachi wants to give him that; and he’s definitely not going to get it when he has this weird obsession for his older brother. Itachi had to fix it; and this is how he was going to do it.

Sasuke, unaware of it all, doesn’t move from his spot, “What do you want?”

“Come on, baby brother,” Itachi whispers, taking a small step toward him, “You know I love you, I love you more than you could ever imagine-”

The younger Uchiha’s cheeks flush pink at that. Itachi knows he’s doing good. Just a little more.

“I would hate it if you left this world doing such an idiotic thing. If you were to leave, who would I love? Have you ever thought that maybe,” Itachi holds a hand out for Sasuke to take, “I was just playing hard to get? I’m sorry for what I did to you out in that forest. I was just testing your adoration for me.”

  
“Testing me?” Sasuke repeats quietly, clearly falling for every word that leaves Itachi’s pretty lips. His stomach is getting butterflies again and he can’t help the grin forming on his face, “Testing my love for you, nii-san?”

“Yes, exactly that.” 

_How gullible could his little brother be?_

Itachi takes another step toward him. Sasuke hasn’t moved. If he could just get close enough to disarm him-

“So,” Sasuke looks too eager, “You do love me? You do want to be together? You do want to do things that boyfriends are supposed to do with each other? Like hug, kiss, have sex, all of that?”

_This behavior. It’s all Itachi’s fault._

He nods, almost hesitantly. “Yes, Sasuke,” Itachi takes another step toward him and Sasuke still doesn’t move. He’s close enough, he can do this. “Now, please lower that knife. Stop being so ridiculous, of course I’m-” He swallows, almost like he’s swallowing his pride to say these next words, “I’m in love with you, Otouto.”

There it is. _Otouto._ The nickname that had Sasuke touching himself for countless nights, moaning his brother’s name into his pillow while he jerked himself off fervently under the sheets. His trust is won completely; because Sasuke does lower the knife from his neck. He’s too happy, too ecstatic with how well his plan worked - or at least, how well he _thought_ it worked - that he doesn’t realize Itachi is reaching for his wrist. Once he grabs hold of it, he grips it so hard, like he did when he was thirteen, that he crushes the bone. Sasuke cries out in discomfort, dropping the knife onto the ground. “Itachi-!”

“Shut up,” He says sharply, not waiting for a response as he grabs a handful of Sasuke’s hair, slamming his head into his bedside dresser and then into the wall beside him. The younger’s vision is blurred for a few moments, still not recovered fully from the injuries from earlier. He lets out a small, pained whimper, just as Itachi starts speaking right into his ear, “I’m leaving, Sasuke. I’m not coming back. Coming here,” He pauses as Sasuke starts to squirm, “It was a mistake.”

“Itachi, you can’t!” Sasuke tries to break out of his grip, his mind is still urging him not to use jutsus or his eyes. He simply couldn’t hurt the man he’s in love with, “Itachi, you’re making a mistake-”

He uses the grip in his hair to pull Sasuke’s head back, slamming it back into the wall, interrupting his pleas, “YOU were a mistake, Sasuke.”

Tears start to spill down Sasuke’s cheeks, both from the headache forming and the words leaving the other’s mouth, “You don’t mean that, Itachi.”

“Oh, but I do.”

_“Nii-san-”_

“I really should have killed you alongside Father and Mother,” Itachi continues, ignoring Sasuke’s pitiful crying. It’s pissing him off to see him be so weak, he’s not fighting back _again_ and Itachi can’t seem to find pity for someone who won’t even defend themselves. “I never want to see you again, Sasuke.”

Before he can reply, before Sasuke can manage some kind of apology, Itachi is turning him around and he’s making eye contact with those glowing red, mangekyo sharingan eyes. His heart drops at the sight of them; Sasuke knows he’s fucked. That his brother means business, that he’s _serious_ , but before Sasuke can do anything, Itachi’s already putting him in a genjutsu that’s knocking him out like a light. His eyes close and he lets Sasuke’s body hit the floor. 

It hurts him to do this. Itachi won’t show it at this moment because of his anger; but he’s both mad at Sasuke and himself. Everything he did, he did so Sasuke could hate him. All he wanted was Sasuke to be angry with him, for his younger brother to kill him. To eventually die from his disease knowing that Sasuke was going to be fine, both physically and mentally.

Now, as he collects all of his things from his home; the brush, the akatsuki cloak, the straw hat, some shirts he left, the presents, the pictures, the letters he had sent him via crow, he realizes that Itachi had failed him. Itachi leaving Sasuke alone, abandoning him, cutting him out of his life would probably give Sasuke some kind of hatred to cling onto. Maybe it wasn’t too late to save him; or maybe it was, but as Itachi walked past the room where Sasuke’s unconscious body lay, he stopped to admire him one last time.

He won’t miss the creepy, obsessive behavior. The one thing he will miss; is the eagerness in Sasuke’s eyes whenever Itachi was around. He’ll miss being there for him and it pains Itachi to know that he’ll die from his disease knowing that their final interaction was an argument. He’s tearing up again, like the night he killed the clan and he had to leave Sasuke then; but he doesn’t change his mind. Itachi leaves, he leaves Konoha without a trace, and he heads back for the nearest Akatsuki hideout. 

* * *

Sasuke is getting tired of waking up. When he comes out of the sleep genjutsu; his head still hurts. He rubs his forehead, sitting up on the floor of this empty room, and he tries his best to recall the events that happened before he was out cold. Once again, everything hits him like a truck.

**Itachi. Where is Itachi?**

The room he’s in; it’s emptier than he remembered. Itachi had threatened to leave, Sasuke didn’t think he actually would. The knife is still on the floor where it fell from Sasuke’s grip, and ignoring his injuries once more, he stands up and searches his home for any trace left by his brother. His bag was gone, every picture of him that Sasuke had hanged up was gone. He even stumbles into his room and checks for the hair brush under his pillow. Gone.

Gone, gone, gone, it was like Itachi was never here. 

Sasuke’s breathing starts to pick up, he feels so uneasy. He’s shaken up by both the genjutsu and his brother’s sudden disappearance that he doesn’t know what to do. His body starts to shake and despite it still being the dead of night, Sasuke stumbles outside his front door, trying to sense Itachi’s chakra. It’s cold, there’s no trace of him anywhere, there’s no possible way of detecting which way he could have possibly gone, and Sasuke doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he brings his hands up to grip at his hair. His world feels like it’s falling apart, he doesn’t know what to think, what to do, where to _start._ He wants to give up, his heart feels like it’s splitting and his chest is hurting more than his head and the ground underneath his feet feels like it’s spinning and Sasuke gets dizzy, stumbling back into his home and slamming his front door shut with a shout of frustration. 

_This can’t be happening,_ Sasuke tells himself. Over and over, the words repeat in his head and he heads back to the room, bending down to pick up the knife that was on the ground. _Itachi had taken this knife from him,_ he thinks. The only trace, the only mark that showed Itachi was once here was this knife.

Sasuke feels numb, he feels stupid. He feels like there’s no meaning to life if his own brother, the love of his life, doesn’t want him around. He tried everything, anything he could to get him to stay. To get him to love him, and it was all for what?

In the heat of his despair, Sasuke can’t help but slice the blade of the knife against his wrist. It cuts into his skin, red beads of blood flowing out and down his arm. It stings for the first few seconds; Sasuke doesn’t react much except for sucking in a breath. He’s so _sad_ that he can’t even feel the true pain of cutting his wrist open. More tears spill down his cheeks and onto the floor and he cries out in distress, slashing his wrists a few more times. Still numb, no reaction except for little whimpers. He’s not thinking straight, Sasuke just wants his brother. If he can’t have his brother, what’s the point of living?

As the blood pools on the flooring under his feet, mixing with his tears, that question- that statement- circles Sasuke’s mind. What’s the point in living without Itachi? If his brother truly meant what he said, if he truly meant every word that left that damn beautiful mouth of his, what is the point of _breathing_?

Sasuke feels faint; he tries to keep his balance but the loss of blood has him falling backward, whimpering in malaise and he rolls onto his side, knife still in his hand as he struggles to focus on his thoughts, his feelings, his emotions. He brings the blade back to his neck, pondering his options. He could live out his life, wondering if Itachi meant every word, hoping to any God that would listen that his brother would come to his senses and return to visit him, or he could end his life now. Sasuke could avoid the disappointment if Itachi was telling the truth, he could die here, using the last weapon he and his dear older brother last interacted with. The answer was simple.

With a jerk of his hand, Sasuke digs the knife into his neck, slitting his throat open so more blood can spill onto the ground. _It feels almost painless_ , Sasuke notes, dropping the knife beside him because his strength is growing weaker and weaker by the second. _Whoever finds me is going to have quite the mess to clean up._

Aside from that thought, surprisingly, Sasuke finds himself thinking about Itachi. The way he smiled whenever Sasuke did anything nice for him, the interest in his eyes whenever Sasuke talked about his life, his friends, his hopes, and his dreams. Sasuke can’t help his delusional giggles, he also can’t help the choking noises; because his blood is flooding his throat and it’s making it hard to breathe.

_This isn’t so bad._

Sasuke weakly brings one of his hands up, looking at the puddle of blood that has formed beside him, dipping his fingertip into it. He’s collecting as much as he can; before he weakly turns onto his other side, writing something into the floorboards with his finger. By the time he finishes, Sasuke feels significantly tired and he turns to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling until his vision fades to black. 

Beside his lifeless body, he had written something quite simple. _S + I_ was drawn out in shaky, red letters, and all in all, in Sasuke’s final moments, his last thoughts were of his dear, older brother. 

**Author's Note:**

> i am sasuke. sasuke (in this fic) is me. we are one. thank u for reading.


End file.
